How To Sneeze Pee Like A Lady

How To Sneeze Pee Like A Lady

Yep, you read that right. Today my friends, I’m going to teach you the fine art known as the Sneeze Pee. Because, let’s face it. Pee Happens. Every time I sneeze, I pee. Hell, every time I cough, I pee. And sometimes, when I laugh… yep. Pee Happens. Remember when I told you all about the birthday party that wasn’t ? The kidney stones from hell when I was stuck on the porcelain throne and all those shenanigans? Go on, read it. I’ll wait. Yes, you can laugh. Turns out, that was just the beginning of my sneeze pee problem.


With aging comes wisdom they say, right? Well what they don’t tell you is that with age comes wrinkles, gray hairs, stray hairs, weird sweaty sessions out of nowhere and the dreaded sneeze pee. Why? Why do we sneeze when we pee you ask? Well, according to Dr. Google, as many as 40% of women have Vaginal or Pelvic Organ Prolapse. Basically, because we pushed a few kids out in our 20’s, now that we are in our 40’s and rockin’ the peri-menopause badge, all our lady bits begin to just fall out. The uterus, the bladder, everything that was once all tight and compact in it’s place now loose-y goose-y.  40% of women are walking around with their va-jay-jay in distress and rarely do we hear anyone talk about it! We have the sneeze pee, the cough pee and just act like it totes fine down there. Seriously ladies. We can say the word vagina. It’s not different than saying toenail. Well, aside from the fact that we file them down, polish them up real pretty after a good soak and massage. But hey, if you do that with your vagina, who am I to judge? I’m here to offer support. Understanding. A few tips and tricks to sneeze pee like a lady. 

Sneeze Pee Like A Lady

Step one – admit we have a problem. Do you pee when you sneeze? Yes? See, now that wasn’t so hard, right?

Step two – Cross your legs prior to the cough / sneeze pee, squeeze that vagina as tight as a nut-cracker and hope for the best. That’s what my daughter does too. And she’s only 23!

Step three – Pick yourself up these handy dandy Always Discreet Pads, slap one on the prettiest pair of undies you own and walk out into the world with your head held high. They got ya covered. Literally. You can find them at Target. And, any excuse to shop at Target I’m taking. But that’s just me.

The good news here is that it is normal for those of us with a uterus and vagina (yes, I just find any excuse to use that word) to have this problem. No, it’s not some sort of death sentence. No, it doesn’t automatically mean you have to have a hysterectomy. But Ronni!! I can’t walk around all day with this sneeze pee thing. What if I’m on a date? Or, at the zoo with my kids? You want me to change the baby’s diaper and mine too? No, I want you to make your husband change the baby while you go take care of yourself. There’s a whole line of options to choose from…

sneeze pee bladder control

In the meantime, you can start by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. Remember those kegels that we all did as teenagers with our friends at girly late night PJ parties? Laughing, giggling talking about not being one of ‘those’ old ladies who sneeze pee? Well stop laughing and get to squeezing! I’m doing them right now while I type! You are so welcome for that visual. There’s also surgical procedures that don’t involve removing any baby making parts to get things all tightened up and back in place. But, let’s first start with this. Because, I don’t like the idea of a sharp instrument anywhere near my vagina either. (yep, said it again!) And, because I care about your wallet too, when you’re at Target doing the suburban mom thing – Text DISCREET to TARGET (827438) for instant coupons on Always Discreet. (Expires 12/31/14)

What have we learned about how to sneeze pee like a lady? Breathe in. Breathe out. You’re not alone in this, 40% of us are in fact doing it. Cross your legs before the sneeze. Have your discreet handy, because like it or not Pee Happens.

Be amazing! Share this with the women in your lives.
Help a sister out. You are not alone!


I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Creamy Chipotle Onion Dip Recipe – Perfect Party Food

With tailgating in full swing and the holidays right around the corner, this Creamy Chipotle Onion Dip Recipe makes A perfect party food whether you’re a chip dipper or a veggie dunker! Thanks Lunchbox for sponsoring this onion dip recipe post. All opinions are mine, and you know I’m full of them!

Creamy Chipotle Onion Dip Recipe | Grandma Juice Blog

Creamy Chipotle Onion Dip Recipe – Perfect Party Food

So I’ve come to learn, there’s two kinds of people in the world. Chips and dips or veggie dunkers. Me? I’m a total chip and dip kinda gal. It’s just how I roll. Crunchy, salty chips and I go way back. Just ask my hips! This creamy chipotle onion dip recipe is perfect for whichever way you swing on the spectrum. It uses only 4 ingredients, I bet you have them all right now too! The Tabasco brings just enough spice without overpowering it into heatsville. Whether you’re tailgating, home-gating or throwing a holiday get-together – This onion dip recipe will fit right in and please the crowd!

Creamy Chipolte Onion Dip Recipe Ingredients

Creamy Chipotle Onion Dip Recipe


  • 2 TBS TABASCO Chipotle Pepper Sauce (or  Original Pepper Sauce)
  • 1 Cup Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise
  • 1 Pack Lipton Secrets Onion Soup Mix
  • 1 Cup Sour Cream

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How easy is that? This creamy chipotle onion dip recipe needs 4 ingredients, 1 bowl and just a few minutes and you’re good to go! Making chips and veggies everywhere pop! Want to give it a taste test before you make it? Stop on by your local Walmart and grab yourself a taste! For a list of days and times click HERE. My Boozy Caramel & Cinnamon Hot Chocolate would be a great drink idea to go with this! Warm ya right up on those cool fall evenings!

If you liked this onion dip recipe post, and want more, (you know you totally do!) you can subscribe to be on my super cool kids club mailing list here.
Are you a social kinda person? Follow Grandma Juice on Facebook or Twitter. For all the pretty pictures, follow me on Pinterest or the new hot spot, Instagram.

Now spill it – Are you a chip and dipper or a veggie dunker?

Spicy Grilled Peach & Watermelon Salsa Recipe

Spicy Watermelon Salsa Recipe | Grandma Juice Blog

Spicy Grilled Peach & Watermelon Salsa Recipe

Ok, check this out! We get a fresh produce box delivered every week. It has local, organic fruits and veggie. Sometimes, I have no clue what to do with it. There’s only so many margaritas you can whip up right? But this week, I was wasting time on Pinterest, because that’s what I do. And I came across this Watermelon Salsa Recipe. My box had everything I needed except… Of course, the watermelon! But it did have peaches! So, I kinda mashed the idea around in my head and came up with this Uh.Maze.Ing spicy grilled peach and watermelon salsa idea. I picked up that watermelon and here’s what I ended up with….

Watermelon Salsa Recipe Ingredients | Grandma Juice Blog

Watermelon Salsa Recipe


  • 3 Cups Diced Watermelon (take the seeds out too)
  • 1 Cup Grilled Peach (cut in 1 in slices, grill then dice)
  • 2 Small Jalapenos (seeded, minced)
  • 1/4 Cup Red Onion (diced)
  • 2 TSP Fresh Grated Ginger
  • 1/2 Cup Cilantro (rough chop)
  • Juice From 1 Medium Lime
  • 2 TSP Orange Zest


I already had my grill on because I was making some Ginger Grilled Flank Steak for dinner. (Go grab that recipe on the foodie blog) But you’ll want to slice the peaches about 1 inch thick and grill for about a minute or 2 on each side. Remove, dice and let cool. Watermelon salsa, well any salsa really, should be cold right? Anyways, now grab a large bowl. Throw everything in it save for the cilantro. Mix all up until well coated. Sprinkle with cilantro. You’ll want to serve that pretty quick. To store, drain any water that’s come from watermelon, cover and keep in the ‘fridge. Should last about 2 days before it’s too mushy too eat. Because mushy salsa… EEwww….

Grilled Peach, Jalapeno and Watermelon Salsa | Grandma Juice Blog

I’m posting a grilled flank steak recipe n the other blog and served this over it. Awesome Sauce! I love grilling season so hard you guys it’s crazy! This would be great with some really crunchy chips or tortillas too! Grab you favorite Summer cocktail and ENJOY!

If you liked this recipe post, and want more, (you know you totally do!) you can subscribe to be on my super cool kids club mailing list here.

Are you a social kinda person? Follow Grandma Juice on Facebook or Twitter. For all the pretty pictures, follow me on Pinterest or the new hot spot, Instagram.


Pain Killers – The OTC Medication Conundrum – Oh What A Pain

Pain Pills Medication OverdosePain Killers OTC Medication Overdose

Pain Killers – The OTC Medication Conundrum – Oh What A Pain

Pain Killers and OTC Medications, we all take them, right?I sure do! As someone with a chronic illness, that’s just a 2 week supply in that photo up there. That’s a ton of pills. 4 of those bottles are pain killers! This has been my daily cocktail since 1/95. I was a passenger in a car and lost a fight with a windshield after said car slammed head on into oncoming traffic. I received a spinal cord injury. Among a host of other big words that basically equate to ‘broken’ and ‘painful’. I wrote in detail about that over. here. Does This Wheelchair Make My Butt Look Fat? Go ahead, read it. I’ll wait. Prior to that were the migraines. Oh My Oh My Mylanta! Those are some killers, huh? I would quite literally grab handfuls of pain killers and swallow them like candy. (Tic Tacs?) Then when we toss in those Gawd-Awful Kidney Stones (remember that fun post??) you can see that I’m quite the pill popper these days. It’s not a bad thing, right? I mean, they are all prescribed and OTC pain killers. Surly that’s totally legit and not harmful. Right? Right??!!

Pain Killers Chronic Illness Service Dogs OTC Medications

Pain Killers – The OTC Medication Conundrum

But when does taking pain killers for so many reasons on such a regular basis become bad? Wrong? Harmful even? Well, one day in January this year I waltzed into (rolled actually, I roll on my wheels) the pharmacy to grab my monthly refills as I’d been doing for years. Same meds, same pharmacy, nothing out of the ordinary. Imagine my surprise when they said they could no longer refill 1 of them! The acetaminophen level included in with the narcotics was now ‘too high’ to be deemed ‘safe’. What the what?? The acetaminophen is too much?? But that’s just …  Tylenol®. Aren’t the actual narcotics what’s typically thought of as the bad news buzz word? Why the fuss? I was seriously confused. They explained that pain killers can be found in more that 500 prescription and OTC medications. Yep, like our good friend Tylenol®, cold and flu meds (IE Nyquil®) and also in prescription medications like Percocet®, Vicodin® and the like. The max dose of acetaminophen is 4,000 mg a day. So my prescribed meds alone already exceeded that. Add to it all the OTC medications I was also taking, Rut Roh….

Pain Killers OTC Medications Overdose Dangers

Too Many Pain Killers – What A Pain

Ok, now see this photo made a light bulb go off in my head!! I have a peptic ulcer!! Dr’s have told me it’s caused by everything from stress to too many spicy foods I make for my recipes. Could be, I suppose. Or, what if it’s actually from all those pain killers and the maxed out acetaminophen levels? I did some reading up on it over at the AGA Gut Check Campaign Website and learned quite a bit of things that had never occurred to me as well. Did you know every year there are 26,000 hospitalizations and 458 deaths from acetaminophen-related overdoses. Over dose from common everyday OTC pain killers! Let’s not forget all the GI bleeds (like mine) and  even liver damage from overdosing and taking too many over a prolonged time. Pain killers cause an estimated 17,000 deaths every year from this. I wasn’t aware of the damage I was doing to my liver! Like I need that on top of everything else I have going on. It’s irreversible damage. Meaning, just because you stop taking too much, or any for that matter, the damage is done my friends. It’s compared to alcohol abuse type damage! I HAD NO CLUE!

Ok, so what have we learned? We all have our issues and take pain meds, totally cool. But, pain killers and OTC medications should be taken seriously and not written off as ‘safe’ simply because you don’t need a prescription. Read your labels! If you’re taking more than 1 type of medication, and they both contain acetaminophen and/or NSAIDS, be sure you’re not going over the recommended daily dosage. Better yet, try to find 1 medication for that fever and 1 strictly for that nagging cough that doesn’t have an added pain med component.

Do me a favor, yes? Check out the Gut Check website and be sure you’re treating that pain without causing yourself a whole ‘nutter kind of pain! Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Just a little PSA from me to you. Gotta keep me and my peeps happy and healthy!

Do you have the pain killers conundrum going on? Did you even think to check?

Easy Boozy Apple Pie Recipe – Perfect Appetizer & Party Foods

Boozy Apple Pie Recipe Apple Pie Roll Ups |  Grandma Juice Blog

Easy Boozy Apple Pie Recipe – Perfect Appetizer & Party Foods

I found this super easy Apple Pie Recipe on Pinterest awhile back. But, of course I had to add booze. And then I futzed with it more and turned it into Apple Pie Bites. Because it’s easier to pop in your mouth. And no fork. And booze! Last week, I had the Girl’s Night In Party and whipped these up. Perfect appetizer, party food, game day, finger foods… whatever you want to call ‘So easy it’s ridic’ to make and super yummy to eat’. That’s what happened to the apple pie recipe after I was done with it! So of course I’m sharing…

Boozy Apple Pie Recipe Ingredients

Boozy Apple Pie Recipe – Ingredients

  •  3 Apples (diced)
  • 1/4 Cup Flavored Vodka (I used whipped cream flavor)
  • 1/2 Cup OJ
  • 1/2 Cup Apple Juice
  • 1/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar
  • 3/4 Cup Sugar
  • 3 TBS Flour
  • 1/2 TSP Nutmeg
  • 1 TSP Cinnamon
  • 1 TBS Butter
  • Phyllo Dough

Apple Pie Recipe Roll Up Bites | Grandma Juice Blog

Boozy Apple Pie Recipe – Directions

So, if you’re not adding any alcohol to the jacked up Apple Pie Recipe, just mix all the dry ingredients together with the chopped up apples. Then wait for me to get to the next step. If you’re going the boozy route, start here…. Ready?

Add everything but phyllo dough in a heavy bottom saucepan. Allow to come to a boil. Turn heat down and reduce until it’s nice and thick. Just like pie filling! **TIP** If you’re going to taste-test during this, blow on it! It’s super hot!

Now, both the boozers and the non-boozers are at the same point…

Preheat oven to *350. Lay 1 layer of phyllo down and spread a tablespoon full of apple mix about 1 inch from the bottom edge closet to you. Fold the side in, and roll baby, roll!

Boozy Apple Pie Recipe Apple Pie Roll Ups | Grandma Juice Blog

Brush the tops with a bit of butter. Bake on cookie sheet for 6 minutes or until golden brown. Flip them over and bake for another 4 minutes.

Guess what? We’re done!


Boozy Apple Pie Recipe Apple Pie Bites | Grandma Juice Blog

These would be a perfect snack with my Boozy Cinnamon Caramel Hot Chocolate!

Have you seen my Fun Fall Cocktail list? Go, check it out HERE.  Also, check out the amazeballs list of Fall Desserts over HERE!

If you liked this recipe post, and want more, (you know you totally do!) you can subscribe to be on my super cool kids club mailing list here.

Are you a social kinda person? Follow Grandma Juice on Facebook or Twitter. For all the pretty pictures, follow me on Pinterest or the new hot spot, Instagram.