My Family is driving me crazy, still.
This really has been the week from hell. Karma is paying me back, like the bitch she is for all the crap I put my mother through is my guess. I’ve been
pissing and moaning telling you all the last couple of weeks how my daughter Jessica, all the grand kids and my future ex son-in-law are here for 6 weeks (SIX!!!!) right? Well, this week we finally all had enough of each other and the poop really went flying and smeared itself on the walls after hitting the fan. My family is driving me crazy!!!!
For some reason, that no one has yet to completely explain to me that makes a lick of sense, the 2 and 3 year old’s still will not eat with forks. Or any eating utensils for that matter. Cereal in the morning is just a nasty experience I don’t even have words for. Anyways, I had enough of the gross fest yesterday and this conversation actually took place between Jessica and I at the table while I tried to get the boy child to use his friggin’ spoon.
- Me: Jessica! He is not listening to me!
- Her: Then punish him!
- Me: Punch him? Can I?
Yes! My family is driving me crazy so much that punching the child actually seemed like a terrific thing to do in that moment as milk and cereal was dripping in between his fingers and down his arm. Oh put the phone down and stop dialing CPS, of course I didn’t punch him. It was the thought in my head that made me realize… I’m headed for the loony bin.
The two boys have been extremely busy too! Ethan has every single piece of Thomas The Tank train track, figure, bridge and accessory ever made (*read tiny piece of crap you step on in the dark) and sometimes they build super awesome and fantastical railways it’s amazing! We love, love, love those train tracks. Mostly. However, they are using those tacks as some sort of sword type weapons and smacking the crap out of each other. Which, is totally cool by me. My family is driving me crazy remember? And, the way I see it, if one really does manage to take the other out (death by Thomas?) it’s just one less noise making, mouth feeding crotch monkey I have to worry about. Not sure who I should be cheer-leading for at this point, though.
I did manage to get some sexy time in with Grandpa Juice! That was full of the awesome! But since sexy time over at the House of Juice doesn’t merely last 3 minutes like in some people’s houses, it lasts 3 hours, I woke up dead ass tired. The ‘I gotta go potty’ call at 5AM came way too soon. So, I was still in a pissy mood! I know, I know… sexy time should make one wake up and see blue skies, pretty flowers and hear the chirping birds whistling sweet music in the wind. Totally not at all like that. Nope. ‘I gotta potty’ should have just been called ‘I gotta take a shit, play in the toilet water, and oh by the way, I already pee’d in the bed so I’m good there’ Yes, my family is driving me crazy and now, NOW they even ruined sexy time. Thanks guys. They really know where to shove the knife! SEXY TIME!! RUINED!
OH!!! And, (hehe) Jessica read my blog! And, she got all butt hurt! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Payback is a bitch! And, so is your mom!
My family is driving me crazy, but ya know what?
Blogging about them may very well be what makes it all worth while!