Grandma Juice Travels: Trip To San Diego On The Road & A Breakdown In Hell

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Grandma Juice Travels: Trip To San Diego On The Road & A Breakdown In Hell

trip to san diego

 Trip To San Diego On The Road & A Breakdown In Hell

See that? That’s what us travelers call … A Parking Lot. Remember yesterday I said it was a dumb idea to leave Las Vegas for our trip to San Diego on a Sunday? Well, it was a really dumbass idea! We sat in that shit for about 2 hours! We went 20 miles. Yeah, that kind of dumbass idea! And of course, I had to pee.

Like a racehorse I had to pee. Naturally. Stuck in the middle of nowhere you basically have 2 choices here. Pull off on the shoulder and go right there in the traffic jam parking lot or, get off at the next exit and hope for a nice truck stop. A convenience station perhaps would be full of the awesome. Do you know where we ended up stopping on this fun trip to San Diego?

trip to san digo

(thermometer in hell)

Hell. We literally stopped in hell. Ethan and I really both had to go, so we had no choice. But… we pull up to the 1 gas station right outside of Baker, CA. Which by the way, is best known for ‘The World’s Tallest Thermometer‘. Just in case you needed confirmation that you really are in hell. It tells you how hot hell is at any given moment. Trust me, it’s no coincidence this is located in yes, you guessed it! DEATH VALLEY! Good news, we didn’t get trapped in a port-a-potty in Barstow! Better news, creepy Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy, he didn’t get us… the Bathroom in Hell did! I thought our trip to San Diego was over before we were even 1/2 way there.

We park, drag ourselves out of the truck and kinda hesitate before making our way into this shithole of a gas station. The line… outside the door. Seems everyone in hell has to pee too.  As we finally get inside, I begin to feel the breakdown start. My heart is racing, I’m starting to get a wee bit panicky… We should have just dropped our drawers on the side of the road.  It’s hotter inside this joint than outside! And guess what??!!

trip to san diego

(no free ice in hell)

Of course! Ice is not free in Hell! Why would it be… more panic. Buckets of sweat. The line for the bathroom is just about as long as the line of traffic we got out of. I can feel the breakdown inching closer and closer. I’m not saying that the people in hell are filthy or anything… OK I am. These people stank. Raw sewage, monkey house in hell kind of stink… So, can you guess what is free in hell?

trip to san diego

(nasty toilet in hell) 

Exactly! MRSA, a few STD’s and what my dad used to call inverted crawling fungus! All totally and completely free in the bathroom , which is hotter than gas station, which is hotter than outside. Awesome, right? By now, I’ve convinced myself our trip to San Diego ended before it began and I had a full out breakdown. Ethan, Harris, Grandpa and I are jam packed in the not handi-cap accessible shithole of a bathroom. It’s a full 20 degrees hotter in there, it smelled, it was filthy and I felt the tears start. Ethan washed his hands and turned on the air dryer… the HOT air dryer and yep; I cried. And, I couldn’t pee. Who the hell can pee in smelly, STD filled hell? Not me.

We got the hell out of there. Drove about 5 miles down the road and there, like an angel sent from Heaven….

trip to san diego

(Starbucks, lifesaver!)

My beloved Starbucks! With their clean bathrooms and ‘Get me the hell out of breakdown mode’ Doubleshots! AAhhhh…. and all was right with the world. Angels started singing, unicorns with pink bows appeared and our trip to San Diego was back on, baby!

Today was spent wandering the beautiful grounds of  Sheraton San Diego Hotel & Marina! Wait until you see this place! A.Maze.Ing!

Tomorrow, SeaWorld!

What did you do today?



  1. That thermometer is pretty cool, but come on, ice, not free? What is that all about? Thanks goodness for Starbucks!

  2. So sorry you had such a terrible experience but thanks for sharing.

  3. Ice is not free, that sign cracks me up but reminds me of a place we stopped once, that had a sign on the door. Minimum $5 purchase to use the restroom.

  4. sounds like our trip down to florida…hubby insisted on leaving here at 12 on a saturday! lol my family used to vacation in SD when i was younger..i miss it! I cant wait to see more pics =]

  5. It’s weird how no matter how bad you have to go…when conditions are unsanitary, you just can’t do it. I’m so glad Starbucks was there to capture your pee!

  6. Oh man! I had Starbucks the other night and you are right, it is a lifesaver. That bathroom reminds me of a nasty convenience station bathroom in a town I used to live in. It always reeks of urine. Always. Ugh.


  7. This totally is yet another reason I do not want to go to Hell 🙂 It didn’t sound like a fun place!! The thermometer is pretty neat though!

  8. Starbucks to the rescue 🙂

  9. I have developed such a strong aversion to public restrooms, which is unfortunate since I have a bladder the size of a pea. All I can say is ewwwwww.

  10. Oh my goodness! So glad you are home! Ice is not free, what the heck?

  11. Haha! Love the ice isn’t free!

  12. That sucks girl. Thank God for Starbucks, and their cleanliness standards!

  13. I am sitting here laughing out loud for real!! I feel bad and at the same time I know I would have been the same way! Only difference I probably would have just pulled down the pants and peed right by my vehicle!! lol Glad it all worked out in the end and Starbucks saved the day!! 🙂

  14. That sucks. The least they can do is provide free ice water in hell!

  15. Isn’t that always the luck. When you have no choice you’re stuck with a vermin over-run john err toilet. Enjoy your trip!

  16. I live your posts: they make me laugh every time.

  17. Yay for Starbucks! 😉

  18. My 3 year old will walk out of a dirty bathroom and refuse to pee! She’ll do her little dance all the way to the car and because I don’t blame her for not going in a filthy bathroom I throw a pullup on her and let her do her business. Maybe I should try that tactic for myself…

  19. Yay Starbucks! I love how you tell your stories – so hilarious! Only you could make having to pee funny. 🙂

  20. Ah what? Ice isn’t free??
    Whirlwind of Surprises

  21. Wow, that sucks, but it makes a great story! Haha.


  1. […] YES!!! We finally landed at our sweet resort on our trip to San Diego! After that disastrous breakdown in the filthy bathroom from hell, we landed in the lap of relaxation and oceanfront beauty at  Sheraton San Diego Hotel […]

  2. […] trip to San Diego was just as trippy as the next car load of weary, hot travelers. Some even get stuck in the dirty bathroom in hell and have a breakdown.    But, if you pay attention kids, you can even learn stuff! Sort of like […]

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