Three Truths And A Lie – But More Like A Lot Of Stuff I Wish Were Lies

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three truths and a lie

Three Truths And A Lie …

But More Like A Lot Of Stuff I Wish Were Lies 

 

Well, since it’s Sunday and my theme all weekend has been to be lazy and not do any work, I figured why blow it and start now, right? We sent Ethan over to his mom’s for the night, ordered Chinese food and plopped our asses on the couch and finally watched The Hunger Games. I’m probably the only person left not living under a rock to have never read any of the books so I thought the movie was pretty good. Grandpa of course said … “The book was better”…. Of course it was! They always are! But, now I have to read the second and third books because they sucked me in, assholes. I don’t have time to read. I also spent some time catching up on what some of my favorite bloggers have been doing. (Oh how I’ve missed you my beloved Bloggess, I’m sorry. I will check in on you more! Oh! And super tweeting this weekend BTW… I did catch some of that!) Anyways, I found this little meme going around. Three truths and a lie. Have you seen it? Me either. But, being the desperate attention seeking whore I am and my constant need to fit in to all things *Cool Bloggers Do* (Total lie right there, this is going to be easy!) I’ve decided I must participate. You know, to lend my time and talent to yet another useless meme (You know I hate meme’s, right? Truth! I wrote about it here)

Although, I’ve kinda been thinking I have way more crap I wish I could say actually was a lie. Can I rename the meme from Three Truths And a Lie to… Oh, I don’t know… 10 Truths And a Few Lies Sprinkled In So I don’t Seem So Crazy? Let’s see what comes out and I’ll let you know at the end.

  1. I just washed a load of laundry (True! And I only have 3 more to go)
  2. I have stopped judging people. (Lie! Like that will ever happen)
  3. On my 16th birthday I smoked pot with a cop who drove me home after my ride from a Deep Purple concert got arrested (True! And that’s all the details you’re getting)
  4. I dyed my hair blonde once. It turned kind of greenish (Lie! It turned out looking like the McDonald’s arches)
  5. I’m not a fan of The Beatles (True! And, I’m not fond of The Rolling Stones either)
  6. I went to Clown School (Lie! But I do often wish I ran away to join the circus)
  7. Tim McGraw looked down my shirt to peek at my boobs (True! Just wanted to brag)
  8. I told Faith Hill her husband (Tim McGraw) had a nice ass during a conversation when I didn’t recognize who she was (True! And, it was totally embarrassing)
  9. My superpower is turning straight guys gay (True! Kinda. You either are or you aren’t when you’re born, but my last boyfriend now dates guys. I’m just that good. Or, bad. Whatever)
  10. My childhood crush used to call me ‘Elephant Brand’ because I was chubby (False! He called me that because “Elephant Brand’ makes Brillo pads. It was a bad hair joke. He’s bald now. Karma is a bitch Jason)

Ok, there’s my craptastic contribution to Three Truths and a Lie. Your assignment, should you be bold enough to accept the challenge:

Leave me 1 truth and 1 lie in the comments section. I’ll figure out which is which…. Maybe.

 

 

Comments

  1. The books are always better – except for this one I read by Nicholas Spark {A Walk To Remember} …bleh. I wasn’t really digging the Hunger Games book {the only one I read because my teen FORCED me to} so I probably won’t dig the movie either then.

    I died my hair blond once, too. I thought it looked awesome. Looking back now I realize that I was sadly mistaken.

    Dawn
    http://www.cheapisthenewclassy.com

  2. I love this post!! I’ll do two!

    True: I spend WAY TOO MANY hours of the day blogging!
    Lie: I am the best parent and can totally balance work and family. (I’m working on it though)!

    • Grandma Juice says:

      I’m guessing we all think both of yours are TRUE when applying it to ourselves!
      I mean, my kids will tell you, I am THE world’s greatest parent ever… (lie)

  3. Funny #10! That was fun to read.
    ERinn from http://3sonshavei.blogspot.com/

    • Grandma Juice says:

      #10 – Funny now. Especially because I sent bald Jason a link to this post and now he knows that everyone knows he’s bald… He’s a nice guy, I forgive him. (Lie. Truth. Lie. Truth)
      Say HI JASON!!!!!!

  4. You are not the only one that had not seen the Hunger Games. I haven’t seen it, yet.
    Ok, here is my truth and my lie.
    Truth: I hate, loathe doing laundry! Right now I have a load in the dryer that has been there since yesterday.
    Lie: I am all caught up with my laundry. (I wish, never am caught up)

    • Grandma Juice says:

      Ya know that laundry I did yesterday? The last load is still sitting in the dryer because I’m too lazy to fold it. (true!)

  5. Fun list! I had to laugh when I saw you mention terms of service. Does anyone ever read those?

  6. You partied with an on-duty cop? LOL!

    • Grandma Juice says:

      I did! He had to drive me home after my ride in from the city got pulled over for speeding, then arrested for an outstanding warrant – I had such cool friends, huh? As we’re driving he handed me this pipe. My 1st thought… don’t touch it, it’s a total set up. My 2nd thought, man this shit is good. It was a pretty awesome 16th b-day (True!)

  7. This game is always so much fun to play – although I’m totally bad at it – I would have messed up on guessing your big time!

    • Grandma Juice says:

      I’m not good at it either (True) And… Like I said, I wish I could say some were lies (Lie, it was a fun life) ;)

  8. You’re a trip. I love coming to your blog and commenting because I’m always tested on my math skills.

  9. YOu are so funny! you need to link this up next week on my laughs! LOL!

  10. Kathy ya know ..me!!!! says:

    You should’ve let people guess which we’re lies/ truth. Would’ve been fun seeing what people guessed. I loved the hunger games. The 1st and 2nd were my favorites.

    • Grandma Juice says:

      I think you might have been the only 1 to have gotten them right!! (True)
      And seriously… that was lame… YOU need to come back and leave some juicy true/lies for us all to guess!!!!

  11. You’re not the only one who hasn’t read/watched The Hunger Games & that is a true! I never lie :)

  12. I didn’t smoke pot or do any illegal drugs at Woodstock in 94 (TRUE but NO ONE BELIEVES ME).
    I’d share my last glass of wine with you (OK false, if it’s my last glass, I’m sending you to the liquor store to get more). :)

  13. LOL…hilarious! I love my fur babies to the bone…so obviously true… And I think I may have to steal Sarah’s false…haha, I love it!

  14. Damn you and that math. Sometimes, I’m actually like, huh? _ – 1 = 1? What? I’m getting old. Still sick. Too many meds.

    Anywho, let’s see if you can figure out the truth and the lie:
    1. I have two ex-husbands, one of whom I have a protection order against.
    2. I graduated from the University of Akron School of Law.

    • Grandma Juice says:

      Fine… I’ll take the math test off (True)
      HHmm…. Well, I know you did some sort of law thingy, not sure where or exactly what though. And, I can totally see putting an OP on a crazy ex…but do you have 2 of them??
      I think I might be stumped! ;)
      Spill it!

  15. Becca - the ABC kidZ says:

    How fun! OK, here are my two truths & a lie for you to figure out…
    1. I’ve been in a riot & got tear gassed
    2. I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was 5 months along
    3. I played water polo in college

    • Grandma Juice says:

      Oh wow. Those are so random.Let’s see.
      #1 – True – only ‘cuz it makes for a good story to tell the grand-kids and I’m jealous I don’t have one like it.
      #2 – Lie – I never understand how people ‘don’t know’…??
      #3 – True – it sounds like a very ‘collegy’ thing to do
      ???

  16. You HAVE to read the books. I have read them twice and I am ready for a third go round.

    You decide, truth or lie!

    We had steak for dinner.

    I am going to the ER tonight!

    ;)

  17. I never diet and I’m only overweight by 40 pounds. ; )

    BB2U

    • Grandma Juice says:

      Oh well that’s just not fair Ms BB… either way I guess I’m an ass.
      How ’bout I say…. You’re 1 of the coolest Grandma’s I know??? Other than me, of course.(True)

  18. You crack me up!

    1. I have absolutely no clue what my real hair color is.
    2. I have never seen Hunger Games or read the books.

  19. Loved it! Okay, here are mine:
    1. I once dated a clown.
    2. I lived in Japan for two years.

  20. I have yet to read the books or watch the movie. The first book is on my Kindle, I just don’t have time to read it!

    Okay, now for my 2 truths and 1 lie.
    1. A bird pooped on my shoulder at the San Diego Zoo.
    2. I’ve stolen a road sign.
    3. I went to a 3 Doors Down concert drunk.

  21. ha, fun! here are mine :)

    I’ve jumped out of a plane.
    I’ve met Robert Plant (of LedZep).

  22. Jill Watkins says:

    I am a new follower and really enjoy your writing!

    Truth’s and a lie-

    I divorced my ex because he liked to wear ladies lingerie.
    I piloted a glider plane.
    I have been to every country in Cental America.

    Jill.watkins@gmail.com

    • Grandma Juice says:

      Oh Jill!!!
      I think I dated your ex! (was that a true?)
      I’m also going to say the glider plane is true but the Central America deal is not. There’s way too many tiny places in there to hit them all… and if it’s true, did you end up in some deep, dark, dank jail cell next to Juan Jose Quervo? I want to tell that to my grand-kids one day….

  23. Oh how fun is this! What a neat way to get to know you. You’ve got some real whoppers in there and some funny truths too!

  24. Anita Anderson says:

    So funny, keep it coming,

    Truth: Braces do hurt
    Lie: Braces don’t hurt

  25. I have to admit, I felt like my life was cheated out of 2 hours of life after watching The Hunger Games. But I’m a Twilight hater…..guess I’m not big on teen flicks.

    • Grandma Juice says:

      Oh I can’t watch Twilight (True!) My crazy sister-in-law (true, she’s really cra cra) made me sit through the 1st one and it was T.O.R.T.U.R.E!!!!!

  26. #5 and #9 — I can relate. My family continually harasse me about #9.

  27. Well I agree the books are 10x + better and the movies does not give enough details. You understand most things much better after reading..
    okay hmmmm
    Truth and Lie…
    I am a 34 year old grandmother of 6 (T)
    I’m not a very good liar, so I guess you get two truths.. (T)
    I love that I’m not a very good liar (there’s a lie, I wish I could lie easier, I hate it when I am asked a question and my filter is broke, I just say whatever comes to my mind) Oh well at least people don’t have to guess. :)

    • Oh in case your trying to figure out the first one, Husband is 8 years older, have 3 adult step children with children :)

      • Grandma Juice says:

        My 1st husband was 17 years older. His oldest daughter was my age… her kids called me Grandma, she’d call me ‘MOM’ in the grocery store… the looks on people’s faces was priceless (True!)
        Also True… he was an asshole and now he’s dead. The end.

  28. I have not read the Hunger Game books, and my oldest can’t tell which is better the book or the movie.

    I managed to get my entire house clean today top to bottom while the baby napped.

    Okay, which is the truth and which is a lie, lol?

  29. I read all the Hunger Games books – loved them. The movie was just okay. :) This post is quite funny. Thanks for sharing more about your life with us!

  30. Loved this! (Hunger Games was such a good book, in that “I can’t wait until this is over way”… And I finally watched it on the plane the other day. An awful choice for a crier like me stuck in a middle seat…)

    Mine:
    I just love the gym and don’t feel like me unless I’ve had a good workout.
    Drinking makes me happy.

  31. Ha! So funny about Tim McGraw! I need more details, Im thinking you need to write a whole post just on that!

    • Grandma Juice says:

      I could dedicate a whole blog to my love for Tim McGraw…. (True!)
      After a 2 decade love affair, I have 1000′s of pics, stories and ‘you said WHAT’s’ to him!!
      True – The day I met Grandpa, I said ‘There’s me, my kids and Tim… take us or leave us.” Poor schmoo stuck around.
      True – I spend more $$ on travel and T shirts to see Tim than my mortgage payments for the year.
      True – I have 1 pic of Tim in his leather pants, angled just so perfect…. my daughter still thinks it’s porn ;)

  32. So funny!! Truth – would love to have Tim McGraw looks down my boobs!! Lie– Wouldn’t have been embarrassed if I told Faith Hill he had a nice ass!!

    • Grandma Juice says:

      We have a photo of him looking down my shirt (bragging again)
      My convo w/Faith totally embarrassing! But a great story behind it ;)

  33. Please delete the comment before. I was trying to paste my comment- because I got the wrong captcha and that came up. If you can delete that, it would be great.

    In terms of the post, funniest post ever! Seriously the Tim McGraw thing-lol. And I say I will not judge but who am I kidding.

  34. Number 1 is my truth, yes I did laundry…2 weeks ago! Totally not asking about #3 either, enough said!

  35. Sounds like there are some interesting stories in there. I would like to hear more about them sometime. :-)

  36. You are a hoot! (TRUE!)
    I’ve totally been here a million times before! (Unfortunately, a lie, but I’m now going to put you on my NEED TO READ blogger list (TRUE!))

  37. Hi, how fun is this!

    My truths and a lie…
    *My face hurts from laughing at these comments.
    *I am the proud Mother of 7.
    *I have not been outdoors in 2 weeks because I work online!

    • Grandma Juice says:

      7??? For real?? You drink lots of wine too huh?
      I can go almost a week without leaving the house, but I think 2 weeks might be stretching it..

      • 3 little words, Red Wine Rocks! Yes, you are good…I think the record is 5 days without leaving out of my front door. Seriously enjoyed this blog post, thanks Grandma…

  38. I love this! Okay… 1 truth and 1 lie… let’s see…

    I stole my mom’s van twice when I was 15.
    I have been arrested.

  39. I always think books are better than the movies. I was very dissapointed with the Hunger Games movie.

  40. this is great..lol…Lets see

    I am new to blogging
    I have been blogging forever…LOL

  41. I haven’t read or watched the Hunger games yet. I feel so behind. Love this little meme.

  42. Funny! i haven’t read the Hunger Games books and I fell asleep during the movie! LOL

    I love to cook.
    I am half Asian

  43. LMAO at the bad hair joke and karma…….. that’s HILARIOUS!!! Love it. Love all of it. :D

  44. Hmmmmm.
    1. I have lived in over 14 states including Hawaii.
    2. I am naturally a blonde.

    Which one which one haha

  45. HILARIOUS!!!! OMG. OK Here are mine:

    1. I met Michael Jackson, he shook my hand, and I totally didn’t wash my hand for a full 24 hours
    2. I always wanted to be a stay at home mommy and am so glad to be fulfilling my life’s dream.

  46. Tim McGraw?! Are you serious?! JEALOUS

  47. Marti Parks says:

    I haven’t seen the Hunger Games, nor have I read the books.
    My family fills my heart with joy………OMG, that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told. My family is on my very last nerve and are a general pain in the ass! I know I made it easy, but it felt good to get that off my chest! ;)

  48. Ok, I’ll play ;)

    I was in the army
    or
    I have been bunging jumping 10 times.

  49. I haven’t read the book or even watched the movie yet, even though I do have the movie.

    I’m a clean freak (lie)
    My kids call me the old cat lady (true, although I only have two and hubby is the one that brought the second one home because he was lost and we couldn’t find the owners)
    (Huguette E.)

  50. Ellen Levickis says:

    This is a great post! Thanks for all the giggles and smiles today, GJ and commenters! Since I am just a reader not a blogger I will not give a truth and a lie since no one knows me to try to guess, and another real reason for that is I do not have anything extraordinary in my long life that may sound like a lie…boring, Catholic, Midwest girl raised in farm country, ya know?

  51. Ellen Levickis says:

    Oh, and I have not even seen a trailer or read a blurb about The Hunger Games. So there. You are not alone.

  52. How about this one…

    I got a bellybutton piercing or dyed my hair pink.

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