ChocoVine Review: Chocolate Wine It’s Totally A ‘Thing’….
First, I need to ask… Why has no one sent me this to review? Hello! Chocolate Wine! With all the wine and alcohol people send me to review, I actually had to bust out my own wallet over at Sam’s Club last week and pick this up myself! (It was on sale for just a bit over $5, so, why not) You PR peeps kind of disappointed me there. Anyways, what did I think? Thanks for asking! Let me tell you all about ChocoVine Chocolate Wine.…
Chocolate Wine? Yeah! It’s Totally A ‘Thing’
But it’s not really like wine. At all. The ChocoVine website goes on about rich, dark chocolate and references Holland and bla bla bla. Totally not true. The bottle says: “Grape wine with artificial flavors, cream, and artificial colors” So… where’s the rich, dark chocolate from Holland bitches? Not in this bottle. It is about 14% alcohol (by volume) so, I’m assuming that’s the ‘wine’ part. It’s a nice milk chocolaty color. So, there’s that. If you drink enough, I suppose it’s possible to fool yourself into thinking you’re getting some fancy, schmancy, rich, dark, Holland chocolate. Also, it’s thicker than wine. Not quite Bailey’s thick but closer to that. I wonder, since Bailey’s cost more than chocolate wine, if I could substitute it in my Ultimate Drunken Coffee and Chocolate Cupcakes? Might be worth trying, right? Either way, it’s not going to be competing with Bailey’s either as a ‘Top Shelf Liqueur anytime soon. In fact, it’s not even trying. Which is good. Chocolate Wine is pimping itself out to be a dessert wine rather than an Irish Whiskey knock-off. And for that, I give it some props!
(Don’t make fun of my ‘tipsy’ shot glass, that’s kind of the whole point, right?)
Chocolate wine is really chocolate milk for adults. Think Yoo-Hoo but with a ‘kick’. Did I ever tell you that my Great Uncle Fred was 1 of the chemists who helped bring Yoo-Hoo to mainstream consumers? Something about chocolate drinks and having a shelf-life without spoiling… No? Story for another day I suppose. Anyways, this is not for kids, it’s defiantly for the grown-ups! And honestly, it’s not bad. Not bad at all. If you go into tasting that 1st glass without expecting ‘wine’, it’s actually kind of good! Because really, how can adult chocolate milk labeled as chocolate wine be, right? Just make sure you drink it chilled. It kind of makes me gag thinking about drinking it warm, room temperature like an actual red wine. Blech.
Because I Play With My Food, I Did This With Chocolate Wine
I took an already open bottled of Whipped Cream flavored vodka, dumped it in my glass and HolyCowThatShitIsGood! Really, took my chocolate wine experience to a whole new awesomesauce level! For my next trick, I’m adding some ice cream, throwing it in the blender and making an adult milkshake! Because, why not.
The Bottom Line
I didn’t hate it. And, like I said, if you go into this knowing you’re not going to be drinking wine, it’s actually pretty good! However, if I’m going to be choosing a cream-based alcoholic beverage based solely on taste, I’ll be sticking with Bailey’s. You just can’t beat a classic original. And, don’t fix what ain’t (ain’t?) broke. But, if I’m choosing a dessert wine and going on price, ChocoVine is perfect! I’ll keep you posted on my adult milkshake too!
So, tell me… Have you tried ChocoVine or any of the similar brands? What’s your verdict?
This is 100% not a ‘sponsored post’ at all. I totally popped for it all on my own. (Just making the FTC and Google God’s happy)