ChocoVine Review: Chocolate Wine It’s Totally A ‘Thing’….

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Chocolate Wine

ChocoVine Review: Chocolate Wine It’s Totally A ‘Thing’….

First, I need to ask… Why has no one sent me this to review? Hello! Chocolate Wine! With all the wine and alcohol people send me to review, I actually had to bust out my own wallet over at Sam’s Club last week and pick this up myself! (It was on sale for just a bit over $5, so, why not) You PR peeps kind of disappointed me there. Anyways, what did I think? Thanks for asking! Let me tell you all about ChocoVine Chocolate Wine.

Chocolate Wine? Yeah! It’s Totally A ‘Thing’

But it’s not really like wine. At all. The ChocoVine website goes on about rich, dark chocolate and references Holland and bla bla bla. Totally not true. The bottle says: “Grape wine with artificial flavors, cream, and artificial colors” So… where’s the rich, dark chocolate from Holland bitches? Not in this bottle. It is about 14% alcohol (by volume) so, I’m assuming that’s the ‘wine’ part. It’s a nice milk chocolaty color. So, there’s that. If you drink enough, I suppose it’s possible to fool yourself into thinking you’re getting some fancy, schmancy, rich, dark, Holland chocolate. Also, it’s thicker than wine. Not quite Bailey’s thick but closer to that. I wonder, since Bailey’s cost more than chocolate wine, if I could substitute it in my Ultimate Drunken Coffee and Chocolate Cupcakes? Might be worth trying, right? Either way, it’s not going to be competing with Bailey’s either as a ‘Top Shelf Liqueur  anytime soon. In fact, it’s not even trying. Which is good. Chocolate Wine is pimping itself out to be a dessert wine rather than an Irish Whiskey knock-off. And for that, I give it some props!

Chocolate Wine

(Don’t make fun of my ‘tipsy’ shot glass, that’s kind of the whole point, right?)

Chocolate wine is really chocolate milk for adults. Think Yoo-Hoo  but with a ‘kick’. Did I ever tell you that my Great Uncle Fred was 1 of the chemists who helped bring Yoo-Hoo to mainstream consumers? Something about chocolate drinks and having a shelf-life without spoiling… No? Story for another day I suppose. Anyways, this is not for kids, it’s defiantly for the grown-ups! And honestly, it’s not bad. Not bad at all. If you go into tasting that 1st glass without expecting ‘wine’, it’s actually kind of good! Because really, how can adult chocolate milk labeled as chocolate wine be, right? Just make sure you drink it chilled. It kind of makes me gag thinking about drinking it warm, room temperature like an actual red wine. Blech.

Because I Play With My Food, I Did This With Chocolate Wine

I took an already open bottled of Whipped Cream flavored vodka, dumped it in my glass and HolyCowThatShitIsGood! Really, took my chocolate wine experience to a whole new awesomesauce level! For my next trick, I’m adding some ice cream, throwing it in the blender and making an adult milkshake! Because, why not.

The Bottom Line

I didn’t hate it. And, like I said, if you go into this knowing you’re not going to be drinking wine, it’s actually pretty good! However, if I’m going to be choosing a cream-based alcoholic beverage based solely on taste, I’ll be sticking with Bailey’s. You just can’t beat a classic original. And, don’t fix what ain’t (ain’t?) broke. But, if I’m choosing a dessert wine and going on price, ChocoVine is perfect! I’ll keep you posted on my adult milkshake too!

So, tell me… Have you tried ChocoVine or any of the similar brands? What’s your verdict?

This is 100% not a ‘sponsored post’ at all. I totally popped for it all on my own. (Just making the FTC and Google God’s happy)

  1. Ok that shot glass is awesome! Where did you find it? My Sister needs one! lol

    I had no idea they made chocolate wine. That is something I never would have thought of.

    • Living in Vegas, you find all kinds off cool stuff like that shot glass!! It’s kind of funny because depending on what and how much you drink, it can be a whole ‘thing’ to get it to your lips all ‘tipsy’…. :)

  2. I have never even heard of chocolate wine but I know {many} people in my family would probably enjoy it! I’m thinking Mother’s Day gifts!

    • Now there’s an idea!! And it’s budget friendly too!! This mom would be super happy to get that! Maybe, someone could throw in a new blender too for the ‘adult milkshake’… Just a thought!

  3. I’ve heard that it tastes like grown up Yoo-Hoo. I tried a different brand once, and it was awful. Just awful. I was so disappointed. I mean, chocolate and wine, right? Supposed to be delicious! They totally go together! Yeah, no. I’ll stick with eating a chocolate bar while drinking the regular wine. Still, maybe I’ll give this one a try one day, because hey, I like Yoo Hoo!

    • It’s exactly like grown-up Yoo-Hoo!! You probably had the kind that looks like actual red wine, huh??

  4. I haven’t ever tried it. I love how you claim it’s the Yo0-Hoo drink for adults. Have you tried chocolate vodka? That is great when it’s ice cold.

    • I haven’t had the chocolate vodka, but I LOOOOOOVE the whipped cream vodka!! I keep it in the freezer. OMGLeeeeeee!!

  5. The store down the street from my house sells this! Its always caught my eye! I think I might pick up a bottle now!

  6. I’m not a wine drinker, I don’t like the taste. I don’t drink any alcohol at all. But choco wine sounded interesting, not sure it’s worth it. But it might be fun for a party just to try.

  7. I love that one and will have to definitely try the Adult Milkshake hahaha. I have not tried the red one as I thought it would be gross too. Thank you