V Day, Vegas and Psychology… Oh My!

V Day, Vegas and Psychology… Oh My!

YES! Today is the Hallmark and Godiva inspired holiday we all love to hate!

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But… in my Google quest to find you the most bestest, sweetest, smushy, gushy, photo to express the perfect Valentine’s Day greeting, when all I can think about is Vegas, all I really found were a bunch of 1/2 naked chicks. Who made me feel just fucking great about myself this morning and how I wasn’t going to be able to dress like a porn star in Vegas So I give you this.

SMEXY!!

Because… obviously!!!!

Ok, enough of that. So. Last night was the Grammy Awards and because I totally watched every second read twitter updates of it while dreaming of my Vegas trip, I have 1 question. What the fuckety fuck is this?

WTF?

Really Lady Gaga?
Who had to sit on that to hatch her out? Can you hire egg hatchers? That is an egg right? And wasn’t it hot and sweaty in that thing? I got a bit claustrophobic and twitchy and…. eeewww… just imagining balling myself up in there to make a grand entrance in the name of creativity… (?) or artistic expression… (?) or fame whoring much… (?) Maybe it’s just me but I kind of miss old school, spandex clad, big haired glam rockers… fear not Bret Michaels, I still love you!

Since I have not 1, not 2 but 3 fucking classes starting today, I spent a lot of time this weekend stalking reading people’s blogs. (And, dreaming of Vegas) Need to get in as much crazy from you guys before the real crazy that is psychology study starts. They do NOT teach you the stuff some of you people spew out in ‘class’… seriously, I can’t help any of you. But I will laugh! Just not when you’re around… I’m cool like that. Anyways, I read someone say this…. “I finally feel like I am “coming into my own.” Is it rude that all I could think of was if that meant they are masturbating? It is, isn’t it? Rude I mean, not that they are really masturbating. At least I hope not because… eeeww… you need to keep that between you and your sex box and defiantly not put that on your blog. I’m going to be honest here. Some of you who pay your therapists $150 an hour are really wasting your hard earned pennies. Because, you have to know where their minds go when you say stuff like that, right? Just a money saving tip from me to you… go to the bar. (Or, Vegas!) The bartender can accomplish a lot of what your paying that creepy old guy in the jacket with the patches on his elbows to do. AND!!! You have someone at your immediate disposal who gives you alcohol at the same time. WIN!! Not to diss on people who work in my choice of career paths here or anything but… some of them are NOT laughing with you. Just sayin’…

Even though I still have 3 more days until my 38th birthday (again…. for the 4th time) rolls around, we are having a big bash tomorrow. And by big bash I mean, Sour Grapes, The Cork, Wanna Be and his little woman over for dinner. And, REALLY!!! This isn’t sounding like a fucking rockin’ good time like Vegas now is it? Sour Grapes has put in her request that I no longer smoke in her presence. So, on the back porch I go. To be fair, she was sick last week. To be unfair, she partially blamed it on my smoking. Because, I’m no doctor or anything, but I can totally understand why her being anemic is directly caused by my smoking. Wanna Be will clean me out of my cigarette stash anyways. You know, being a ‘Real House Husband” just doesn’t pay what it used to I guess. On the upside, Grandpa does rock when it comes to making desserts. Score for me on that one! And, we are planning a trip to Vegas next month for a slot tournament for a combo birthday / valentine’s thingy. Yes, we will be pulling out our inner Charlie Sheen for a few days. Did I tell you it’s IN VEGAS? Well, if old Charlie got paid a blue collar salary and only sat at the slot machines waiting for the “cocktaaaaaail’ lady to come around. The people at The Stratosphere do love us enough to comp our rooms every time we show up. So, we must do something right. Porn stars and blow = no. Slot machines and Jagermeister shots = shhheeeyyyaa! I’ll hit up the botox guy and the queen of Brazilian Blow outs while I’m there. Again, SCORE! Now… if I can just make it past tomorrow night’s ‘big bash’. Wish me luck!

SUCK IT DOWN!