No One Gave Me The Memo

No One Gave Me The Memo

 

About ‘Wordless Wednesday’

Ya gotta help the newbies out here ya’ll! I thought we were all in this together? Why did no on give me the memo?

What the fuck is up with that? Yeah! I’m talking to YOU! (and you, and you over there in the corner hiding, I totally see you too!) Really guys, I thought we were tight? Now I feel all left out and shit. So, I’m starting ‘Thoughts for Thursday’ and, if YOU don’t get the memo, you know you’ve done pissed me off. (you can however buy earn back my love with a bottle of Chopin Vodka) Here’s the link to help you out because I’m cool like that. www.chopinvodka.com

Anyhoo…  Let’s get this party started. No one gave me the memo & THOUGHTS FOR THURSDAY (in no particular order of importance, I’m not that organized)

#1. I was born and raised in Chicago. On most days, I miss it. A rockin’ little place that holds all my closet freak, first kiss, drunk embarrassing sex, puke on my shoes momentous life changing experiences. I did not however miss it yesterday! No one gave me the memo that this shit happened….

Snow The memo

The Memo

The memo

Sorry to all my homies but…  Shovel away fuckers! I’ll sit here and watch thank you very much. However, here in Arizona the old snowbirds who flew the coop to come soak up the sun are most definitely NOT getting their $$ worth either. It is a whopping 17 degrees here in the not so blazing heat of the desert! Can you believe that shit? 17 degrees! No one gave me the memo THAT shit happens! And, it’s totally true about the whole ‘blood thinning’ thingy. I have turned into a whopper of a wuss and my ass is freezing. This sucks ass. But, it does not require any of that shoveling. So, there’s that….

#2. Because I have to keep up with hot topics and current events, No one gave me the memo and I had to read this morning that Michael Lohan, father of the hot drunken mess esteemed actress of Lindsay Lohan was awarded (are you sitting down??) “Father of The Year”. YEAH!! That’s exactly what I said! Who the fuck would bestow such a honor upon this stellar example of a parent douche bag, some no name Pennsylvania magazine trying to shock us all into buying their rag. And ya know what? I’m going to place $50 on that working out for them! And, again, because I’m cool like that, here’s a link to prove the douche bag has this piece of shit paper to hang on his wall. MICHAEL LOHAN

#3. Now this little gem of a thought really kind of gets my panties in a bunch. The asshats Republicans in office are trying to pass a new bill that no longer allows state funded abortions. Let’s just toss out how anyone feels about abortions in general because that’s not what has me all twisted. It’s the hidden little suggestion of ‘redefining rape’ that’s got me hot. Guess what they want to say? Simply saying “No” will not be good enough to claim rape. No one gave me the memo that you must now be ‘forcibly’ made to have a sexual encounter with someone. And by ‘forcibly’ they mean VIOLENTLY. Date rape = no longer counts. Drugged = nope, not good enough either. A 15 yr old girl coerced by a 37 yr old perv = not going to qualify either. Basically, unless you’ve been beaten and/or battered during the course of this act, it’s not going to be considered ‘rape’… That. Is. Fucked. Up! Ladies (and gents) if you don’t puke in your mouth just a little because of this, I’m going to have to put you in the FUCKTARD category… take a click HERE to read all about that bullshit.

#4. Charlie Sheen. Let’s face it. (and be honest) If you had his amount of ‘disposable’ income, wouldn’t you totally party it up like a rock star too?? I would so have my ass in Vegas blowing cash on booze, gambling and porn stars exotic male dancers that I’d barely remember my own name let alone the cast members of Two and 1/2 Men! And if you say you wouldn’t, I don’t buy a word of it. Just sayin’… On the other hand, the dude has gone a wee bit over board. He really should slow his roll before he over does it and leaves his kiddos without a dad. And, doing ‘rehab at home’ HAHAHA!! Really, Charlie, no one is buying that crap. Find a balance dude and then ROCK ON!

#5. Who thought putting Yo Gabba Gabba on TV for preschool kids to watch was a good idea? Send me that dudes name please. There may be a bottle of Chopin Vodka in it for you… But probably not.

And because I still feel left out of your whole ‘Wordless Wednesday’ thing… I’ll leave you with this.

Gives a whole new take on the phrase ‘waste of breath’ no?

Comments

  1. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. And fucktard. I’m learning all sorts of new and colorful phrases from you that I’m gonna STEAL. Yep.

    And sorry about the whole Wordless Wednesday thing. Is now the time to tell you about Fawk You Friday?