Someone Remind Me

Someone Remind Me


Yeah, I know. Not really a ‘blog post’ Grandma Juice. WTF?? And, did I just see you take your bra off at the kitchen table in front of your laptop through the webcam hidey hole??? Yes, yes you did. The girls wanted out what can I say. Remind me not to do that anymore. Before you go off your nutz… YES! I firmly believe you can see me through my webcam hidey hole. Markey Z over at Facebook can! He’s always throwing wrinkle cream ads at me every fucking time I log in. And!!!! Those fucktards at Dell, they for sure can see me. 3 days after my extended warranty expired do you want to guess what happened? The laptop took a dump. I know they be a spying! Someone remind me, Where was I again?

OH! So, because #1, I’m the world’s greatest procrastinator and #2 I can’t remember jack crap, I’m giving you a task. In September, can you PUUULLLEEEZZZZ remind me to make these? They look absofuckinglutely amazing and I’m putting $50 on them getting my ice cream to not only sing but naked hula dance as well.


Brandied Pears (ala Martha Stewart)

Ingredients Makes about 3 quarts

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice, (about 2 lemons)
5 1/2 pounds pears, (about 20)
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 cinnamon sticks
3 cups brandy (I’m thinking I’ll go just slightly heavy handed on the brandy. Go figure)


Fill a large bowl halfway with cold water, and add lemon juice. Peel pears as carefully and smoothly as possible, leaving stems attached. Place pears in water as they are peeled. Combine sugar, cinnamon sticks, and 3 quarts water in a large stockpot. Drain pears, and add to pot. Bring mixture to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer until just tender when pierced with a knife, 10 to 30 minutes, depending on size and ripeness. Remove pears from liquid with a slotted spoon, and divide evenly among three quart jars. Raise heat under pot to high, and cook liquid until reduced to 2 cups, about 50 minutes. Remove from heat; strain liquid through a sieve lined with cheesecloth into a bowl. Divide the liquid evenly among the jars, and add about 1 cup brandy, or enough to cover pears, to each. Allow jars to cool, and screw on lids. Refrigerate for several weeks before eating to allow flavors to develop.

Awesome right??!! Martha says this is what they should look like. Mine won’t because I ruin everything I try to cook but with this much brandy, who gives a fuck right?! Don’t forget to remind me! I may just send you a not so perfect looking but drunkable treat for your ice cream! Thanks!


Martha\’s perfect looking Brandied Pears!


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