Grandma Juice And Google We’re Going To Break Up

Grandma Juice And Google We’re Going To Break Up

Grandma Juice And Google

Grandma Juice And Google
We’re Going To Break Up


As much as someone like me uses technology, I’m really incompetent at it. Shocking, I know. But totally true. Grandpa does most of the things required to keep it all running other then pushing the publish/send/on/off buttons. He’s the brains, I’m the beauty. We actually met through the use of technology. Remember old school AOL chat rooms. You know, back in the dark ages before Yeah, that. Wait, I got off track…

Just to clarify… Google+ sucks. I love Google. Google keeps me searched and indexed and helps you guys find all my cleaver and witty posts. My delicious recipes and terrific product reviews and giveaways would be dead in the water without Google. I could do without all the updating but that’s a different story. Lately, I’ve been asking myself what good is Google+? (in my head, I have a very smexy and slightly grovely voice, kinda hot) My answer? It’s not good. It sucks.

Like everyone else, I’m all hooked up to Google+. Did you know they call it ‘The Better Facebook’? It’s totally not. The only ‘Better’ thing I can think of is that it doesn’t have Farmville. I can’t keep silk plants alive in real life, how am I supposed to grow crops and milk purple cows digitally? I’m not. (please do not get all comedic on me and send 29995 requests to help you build your barn now either, thanks) Where was I? Oh yeah. All tangled up in love/hate with Google+….

G+ says it has over 180 million users. It’s ‘purpose’ for lack of a better word, is to keep us all better connected. I laugh! (bwhahahaha, hysterical, sarcastic sounding laugh) It doesn’t. As a blog/blob/glob er, I need people to be connected. You’re supposed to ‘Like’ the heck out of me, ‘Reply’ to my comical musings, ‘Share’ all my wit, and +1 all the cool things I write and do. It doesn’t happen. And, it’s totally not my fault. (or yours) Here’s some quick stats I read:

  • The average post on Google+ has less than one reply, reshare and +1.
  • There’s a 15% chance that a user will not post publicly again even after posting publicly five times.
  • The average time between posts is 12 days for active users. (ACTIVE USERS!!)
  • The average number of public posts per active users declines steadily month after month.

Do you know why it doesn’t happen? BORING! G+ is a bore. Lameo. Snooze fest. While I’m no techy genius, we’ve made that clear, I am a pretty good judge of what’s considered ‘time wasting’. I have been wasting so much time! I have to write, tweet, stumble, tribber, reddit, retweet, share, and like a gazillion other things each day to be able to keep the tiara for blog queen parade. And obviously, G+ is just not connecting me (or you) to anything but a bunch of wasted time.

It’s not ‘The Better Facebook’ at all. And, it’s all because of that stupid Farmville! Or, Mafia Wars, or… whatever else they keep you sucked in with. For all my complaints about crops, cows, and the incredibly self-centered Mark Zuckerberg, he’s got a good gig! Sure the new Timeline stinks like moldy cheese but he’s got you hooked! His schtick caught on and grew wings. Like it or not, Facebook is king and we all bow at that alter.

So… I’m announcing my break-up with Google +. Our love/hate relationship must end. I’m citing fraud in the divorce papers. It promised to keep me connected and it lied. At least we didn’t have kids.

Marky Z and I are off to conquer the interwebs. Won’t you follow us?



  1. I don’t like Google+ either. I don’t feel it is going to take off either. I LOVE Pinterest, but I don’t see that it would or could replace a Facebook-Twitter-type social media.
    Love your blog!

  2. I hope you recover from your break up very soon x They should never have got rid of gfc that was there biggest mistake and have lost loads of bloggers through it, never mind what do they say – you learn from your mistakes 🙂

  3. You are so right! I support you in this public campaign that G+ is user unfriendly and no, I haven’t seen great returns from it either!

  4. I’m not a big fan of G+ either. Right now I still have my account, but I’m not sure what to do with it! I agree, it is on the boring side…

  5. LOVE it! I’ve been debating the whole g+ thing myself lately! It’s too bad too because I’m the one who go many family members to make a profile because I was mad at facebook and was going to leave it…sigh. David had not beaten Goliath with g+. NEXT!

  6. I hate G+ and do VERY little on it! They need to get rid of it! It does no good what so ever! You should have a divorce party!

  7. Karen Hand says

    I’m with you about Google +. The only time that I use it is when I am entering a sweeps for some item. Plus, I find it a bit difficult to use at that. My feelings won’t get hurt at all, if you eliminate all of your Google + entries in your giveaways.

  8. I agree, it seems kind of pointless to me.

  9. Of course I had to give you a +1 for this one. ; )


  10. I so agree … still can’t get the hang of Google + and really don’t care to!

  11. Yep Google+ is pretty much pointless.

  12. Totally agree. The only reason I have G+ is to get extra giveaway entries. That’s pretty much the only reason I have Twitter, as well.

  13. Barbara Compton Kesterson says

    I totally agree Google + is a pain in the arse. I only use it when called for on the Rafflecopters and would rather just stay away from it. So I’m with you on this one “HOLLAR”

  14. You crack me up!!!! Yes, I hardly use G+ at all. Always on FB!

  15. Amen, Grandma. Amen! 🙂

  16. Oh, Oh let me count the ways I LOVE this post!! Google + confuses me to no end. I simply do not understand it, I can never get my blog page to post right. I have basically given up on it!! I’m glad I am not the only one!!

  17. I have never been able to get into Google +….my account is pretty much dormant LOL

  18. LOL! I love your post….I hate it too! I’m just not willing to let go yet. Everyone else is doing it!!!!!! (Did you hear that hissy fit?)

  19. Sorry, but Zuck just married someone else.

  20. Can’t say I’m fond of google either. But, fb is getting greedy. So, I don’t know where all this leaves us.

  21. I actually get quite a bit of traffic from it!

  22. I totally agree! They even shut down my account for posting my blog posts to it and there is apparently no way to reactivate it. LAME.

  23. I have to agree completely. I actually didn’t even add Google+ until a month ago or so because a sponsor asked me to. I love Google for its Docs, images, search, calendar etc. But Google+ SUCKS. You are completely dead on. It is extremely boring and I never even check it. Awesome article from one non-techy blogger to another 😉

  24. i like G+, even if it doesn’t get much action in terms of likes or anything 🙂

  25. I have never been able to get into Google + PS you ate hilarious and I loved this post


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