In A Funk So Naturally I’m Going To Steal Crap ENJOY!

in a funk

In A Funk
So, Naturally I’m
Going To Steal Crap

Seriously, how the hell do some bloggers always have such happy, cheery shit to post?  Not only do you make me feel like a really (really) bad mom/grandma, but a lazy one as that!

You know Ethan is always here, but last week my daughter (yeah, THAT 1) and her new BF/my future ex-son in law, and the two little grand kids all piled into my house. They will be staying for a whopping six weeks!! I shit you not, six weeks!

The volume went from smooth jazz fest to screamo punk rock band like ThisQuickItMadeMyHeadSpin. There is so much crap strewn all over my floors I think I’m 1/2 way to Hoarders. And, my super coupon skilz are not used to shopping for five extra people and I may just get a trough! I have been in a funk.  I can’t post happy crap feeling like this.  I’m completely uninspired to type up a super cool recipe. I’M IN A FUNK HERE PEOPLE!

So, I’ve been scouring the interwebs to steal crap in search of inspiration.

Here.  Enjoy.

#1 – Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right…

B – In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Seperate apartments? I’m in a funk!

Purple – If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
Any of the current Republican Nominees.  Hopefully during a photo opp.

#321 – Do you have any relatives or friends in jail?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

H – I heard a joke that having a small child in your house is like living with a crazy person.  TRUE STORY! Although, to be completely  accurate, it is like living with a ward full of psychiatric patients.  Add a wayward adult daughter to the mix and we have full-blown “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s” syndrome. I’m in a funk!

Orange – It’s your round at the bar, your friends asked you to surprise them. What drink would you buy and why?
Cokes.  They would think it was rum and Coke and when they sipped it I could be all like “SURPRISE!”

 This post…

This post…

in a funk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is me!

 

in a funk

 

 

 

 

This is NOT me!
Do your kids drive you crazy? Does motherhood suck sometimes? Tell me I’m not alone here… anyone? Bueller?

Comments

  1. OMG – I can so relate!! Went to a friend’s house to watch the fireworks last night and ended up crying to her saying I was a bad wife, mother and daughter!! Of course she talked me out of it.
    My husband is unemployed for 3+years now, oldest child (age 20, still living at home) is transgendered, youngest child (17) has emotional issues, a marijuana card and 6 plants in our backyard, my mother just informed me that she is no longer speaking to me. There should be an island or support group or something for people like us.

    • OK, I am sorry that I giggled, it was the last part, did your mom CALL you to TELL you she wasn’t speaking to you? IMO, that would e the BEST NEWS EVER, but, you have NOT MET MARION!

    • Grandma Juice says

      OH!! Super idea! Let’s take over an island!

  2. This post made me laugh so hard that if I was drinking it would come out of my nose. You say exactly what I think on a daily basis lol!!!

  3. HAHA I can so relate! I feel horrible at times when I want to take off running the minute I see my 1 year old coming towards me whining. LOL.

  4. Jennifer Hall says

    OMG I love it, It’s so true, there is so much craziness hovering around me that at times I want to huddle in the corner in the fetal position and hope I wake up!!

  5. Dude, I have to do ALGEBRA to post on this blog! I liked this post! I liked it because it is stuff I would SAY, like, in person to someone, but, NOT on my blog!
    My life is CRAZY, really CRAZY, and I can totally relate to Jennifer, I have hidden in the bathroom and locked the door when my son was a baby, being a single mom is REALLY difficult, especially 2x over with the same deadbeat!
    MY BF just started working full time and I sure as shit hope it lasts because I am out on medical leave, I FINALLY decided to be SELFISH and take care of my chronic pain.
    Someday, I hope not to be referred to as ‘Eileen, Joshua’s mom, Dan’s girlfriend, Sean’s sister, Bob’s daughter, Marion’s daughter etc’! I just want to be me!

    • Grandma Juice says

      I graduated from ‘Jessica’s mom’ to ‘Ethan’s Grandma’ …. doesn’t feel any better

  6. Motherhood SUCKS some days. What you need is a little wine to go with that whine! 😉

  7. This was hysterical! As a mom to 3 young children I often feel this way. Thanks for the great laugh, and I hope things get easier for you :)…now I have to run because I have 2 screaming children, both of whom are supposed to be asleep!

  8. You are SERIOUSLY keepin it real. I shall return frequently! Thanks for making me feel like I’m not the lone ranger!

  9. Love how you took a crapass day and created total entertainment for us. Kudos to you! I love the Bad Mother T-shirt.. I need to get me one of them 😉

  10. You want me to post about my mother? Oh you know all about my mother. Ha!
    What do you mean your soon to ne ex son in law? Do we really want to know:) kinda glad I didn’t come to visit last week. Lol

    I love that you post exactly what’s on your mind. I simply do not have the guts!

    • Grandma Juice says

      Bwahahahaha! You mom would make for GREAT traffic!
      Soon to be ex-son in law = new BF…

  11. I’m sorry you’re in a funk…. and not to mock your pain but this post made me snort coke outta my nose, I laughed so hard!!
    I babysit my granddaughter during the week…… right now my house looks like a nuclear bomb went off and what am I doing?? Drinking WINE, eating M&M’s and checking on my favorite blogs. Now I’m laughing and truly not caring that the house is a disaster zone! Consider this me showing my camaraderie to Grandma Juice!!
    I’d like to tell you six weeks will go fast…. but it would be a lie. Hang in there!!

    • Grandma Juice says

      Babysitting with WINE = full of the awesome! (aka = Grandma Juice!)
      Grandma’s rock!!

  12. Stephanie Huff says

    LOL! If they post happy SNIZZ 24/7, they live a fantasy life behind a computer! I have blasted one blogger for being a snob because her $30 wasted money on tons of makeup was SUCH A BIG DEAL on her post after one lady was asking about detergents that you make at home and I posted a recipe to one that would not cause reactions and to use vinegar in detergents to break down chemicals. GUESS WHAT SHE DID?! SHE FREAKIN’ DELETED MY POST!!! LOL I did not know fans could not help each other since her snobby nose did not care to say much to her fan but, “Ohh, Idk”. OMG, if you’re going to be a FREAKIN REAL BLOGGER BE ONE, NOT SOME STUCK UP, OVERLY-HIGH MAINTAINCED FLOOSY! I posted in my blog about her and how I would NEVER do that to my fans and how I unliked her page! I am not happy all the time. I do not have good sleep at all. I hurt 24/7 and if you don’t like my posts, KISS IT! It’s my blog and my fan page!! LOL YOU GO GAL! I know my boyfriend’s son was 16, now 17, has a pregnant girlfriend and living with his mom. I THANK GOD HE GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE, not by choice, lol, and got someone pregnant, cause he was that snobby kid who said he would have life easy and never get someone pregnant. Here come the words…”I TOLD YOU SO!” Literally, I did, too! LOL The kid was on tether, in lockup, in court school for troubled kids, OMG! He would not clean, he cussed at me. Yeah.

  13. I can so relate. My daughter has been out of school for over a month now and she’s driving me insane. We are spending way too many days together. I need a break or else I might scream. I love her to death but she’s at that age. Almost 5 going on 13. I hope things gets better for you.

  14. well girl, at least you tell it like it is! 🙂

  15. If your kids don’t drive you crazy sometimes, you really haven’t experienced motherhood 🙂

  16. Ronni,
    I love reading your stuff!
    Crazy as it is, this is life. You are not alone in it!
    Thank you!

  17. You are always good for a laugh when you get like this though ;).

  18. Marti Parks says

    I totally feel your pain. My son has moved back home and brought my future ex daughter in law with him. Hang in there!!!!!
    You made my day just knowing I’m not alone.

  19. OMGOSH – I’m so sorry, but this fi way too funny. Having raised 10 kids, and at one time or another having one or more of them (and spouses/grandchildren), move back in – I can so relate. your music analogies are soooo perfect.

    PS – There is no such thing as simple math…just say’n!

Trackbacks

  1. […] late 2011, I officially became Grandma Juice. The toned down, less snarky version of Bad Mother. And, while this new version has worked for me fairly well, she doesn’t quite fit me like the […]

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