My Family Is Driving Me Crazy, Still. Sunday Edition

my family is driving me crazy

My Family is driving me crazy, still.
Sunday Edition


This really has been the week from hell. Karma is paying me back, like the bitch she is for all the crap I put my mother through is my guess. I’ve been pissing and moaning telling you all the last couple of weeks how my daughter Jessica, all the grand kids and my future ex son-in-law are here for 6 weeks (SIX!!!!) right? Well, this week we finally all had enough of each other and the poop really went flying and smeared itself on the walls after hitting the fan. My family is driving me crazy!!!!

For some reason, that no one has yet to completely explain to me that makes a lick of sense, the 2 and 3 year old’s still will not eat with forks. Or any eating utensils for that matter. Cereal in the morning is just a nasty experience I don’t even have words for. Anyways, I had enough of the gross fest yesterday and this conversation actually took place between Jessica and I at the table while I tried to get the boy child to use his friggin’ spoon.

  • Me: Jessica! He is not listening to me!
  • Her: Then punish him!
  • Me: Punch him? Can I?

Yes! My family is driving me crazy so much that punching the child actually seemed like a terrific thing to do in that moment as milk and cereal was dripping in between his fingers and down his arm. Oh put the phone down and stop dialing CPS, of course I didn’t punch him. It was the thought in my head that made me realize… I’m headed for the loony bin.

The two boys have been extremely busy too! Ethan has every single piece of Thomas The Tank train track, figure, bridge and accessory ever made (*read tiny piece of crap you step on in the dark) and sometimes they build super awesome and fantastical railways it’s amazing! We love, love, love those train tracks. Mostly. However, they are using those tacks as some sort of sword type weapons and smacking the crap out of each other. Which, is totally cool by me. My family is driving me crazy remember? And, the way I see it, if one really does manage to take the other out (death by Thomas?) it’s just one less noise making, mouth feeding crotch monkey I have to worry about. Not sure who I should be cheer-leading for at this point, though.

I did manage to get some sexy time in with Grandpa Juice! That was full of the awesome! But since sexy time over at the House of Juice doesn’t merely last 3 minutes like in some people’s houses, it lasts 3 hours, I woke up dead ass tired. The ‘I gotta go potty’ call at 5AM came way too soon. So, I was still in a pissy mood! I know, I know… sexy time should make one wake up and see blue skies, pretty flowers and hear the chirping birds whistling sweet music in the wind. Totally not at all like that. Nope. ‘I gotta potty’ should have just been called ‘I gotta take a shit, play in the toilet water, and oh by the way, I already pee’d in the bed so I’m good there’ Yes, my family is driving me crazy and now, NOW they even ruined sexy time. Thanks guys. They really know where to shove the knife! SEXY TIME!! RUINED!

OH!!! And, (hehe) Jessica read my blog! And, she got all butt hurt! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Payback is a bitch! And, so is your mom!

My family is driving me crazy, but ya know what?
Blogging about them may very well be what makes it all worth while!




  1. This too shall pass! 2 weeks?

  2. Oh my—-is all I can think of to say! Six weeks of that and I probably would have moved myself into a motel for the duration. OR knocked out my daughter if I had one and proceeded to teach those kids (eat with utensils, wake your Mom not me when potty time) This too shall pass–hopefully soon!!

    • Grandma Juice says

      OH!! A hotel!!!
      Good plan… and I’m going all out… the room service, the in room massage AND a cute cabana boy 🙂

  3. Debi@The Spring Mount 6 Pack says

    I am visiting my mom for 2 1/2 weeks and can’t help but wonder if I am driving bat-shit crazy. At least I know I am not ruining sexy time for her but I will say you a lucky Grandma (3 hours?)

  4. 6 weeks- I just had 2 weeks and I was going bat stir crazy! All I can say it will pass and life will return to normal! And yah for sexy time- I got none of that when I had 2 weeks of the parents here!

  5. LOL

  6. Hahaha! I hope you survive 6 weeks! When I go visit my mom, I’m ready to go home in a week and she is ready to see me go!

  7. Wine is cheaper than therapy,
    wine is cheaper than therapy,
    wine is cheaper than therapy!!!
    LOL love the post.
    Sorry about the uhh eehh family troubles. Make that Jose Cuervo is cheaper than therapy?? 😛
    Want me to make you a sign for that? lolz

    • Grandma Juice says

      See that picture of the sign up there!! THAT!!!
      And… I totally know a blogger that would LOVE to review it 🙂

  8. Jessica Keller says

    Dear Mom, You once cursed me by saying “One day I hope you have children who act just like you.” After many years, I have a response. HOW DID YOU SURVIVE ME???

    You wished for this, Remember Mom, YOU drive US crazy too(:

    I love you mommy, AND i like you! (inside joke)

  9. LOL, interesting post…gave me a chuckle and I love how your daughter commented too. ROFL.
    Whirlwind of Surprises

  10. Okay, this made me laugh. It also made me feel good to know that I’m not alone in the chaos!

  11. hahaha! Your family sounds like the kind that is misery to live with, but fun to laugh at the stories it produces. Six weeks with my family would drive us all bonkers, too! Hang in there!

  12. I know I shouldn’t laugh at your pain, but I just almost peed my pants laughing. I hope that the time passes quickly. And teach those kids to use a fork. My two year old can use a fork.

    • Grandma Juice says

      At this point, I’d be happy with a shovel… and a napkin too!
      Who doesn’t teach kids to use a fork???!!

  13. It’s fun to see you be you 🙂 I can’t imagine how y’all are surviving. I know I wouldn’t be 🙂

    • Grandma Juice says

      I KNEW you of all people would ‘get’ it 🙂
      You can ‘see’ it too, huh?

  14. Oh my! I know you love them dearly and would be upset if the didn’t visit you. We all have our limits though and spending extended time with family can be tough.

  15. Oh mujer- all I can say is. Better you than me! ; )


  16. -puts the phone down- I love reading your posts, you always take everyday stories, and make them hilarious!

  17. I would go crazy as well, I can’t even stand many of my family members for more than a day!

  18. I’m not quite to the crazy like you, but I’m on my way. I guess my 4 year old has a little growing to do and then I’ll be all up in the crazy…and I’m totally looking forward to the 3 hour sexy time!!

  19. I hear you… sometimes I want to scream! I think we all go through period like this… at least it’s giving us all some comic relief LOL!

  20. Very funny post, I laughed out loud at a couple of parts. Good luck!

  21. I worry about karma too. I hope my daughter doesn’t put me through what I put my mom through.

  22. I’m just imagining this dangerous pit with a rope bridge and the pit is filled with thomas the tank engine track pieces 🙂

  23. I think I might go insane, although, all of my kids still live here. There’s this pesky law about having to keep your kids in your house (you know, still living, and not dead?) until they’re 18. I’m working on getting Congress to pass a law saying that 3 year old’s really CAN work outside the home and take care of themselves. Not going so well thus far, but I WILL get it done! lol

  24. jadelouisedesigns says

    I get to that point when my entire family gathers and we are stuck in a small house for more than a few hours. Of course there are 9 kids, and 36 grandchildren for my parents. Let’s just say that we learned from the last time and now all family gatherings are held in a BIG building or at a park where all the kids can run around and leave the adults alone. And at the end of it, we all stay at separate locations. family is great, as long as you don’t try to stuff too many people in small spaces for too long.

  25. LOL! There’s always bound to be some drama when family is over for an extended period.

  26. Sounds like you need a break…and wine! 🙂

  27. LOL!! Yes a break is much needed!

  28. I read this and all I could think of was, wow, this sounds just like me when my hubs was deployed, I had my 2 kids and I had some friends living with me for a few weeks until the flood waters went down and they could go home. Five kids in the house total, all under the age of 7, and I took care of all of them most of the time! It drove me batty, but I still love them. I can absolutely relate. At least after 6 weeks they get to go home instead of continue living with you forever and ever…right? I raise my glass to you all. Everyone goes crazy when house guests are involved, both the host and the guests, lol. Cheers!